One Swine Day

The country was put into consternation over the weekend with reports of 40 instances of Swine Flu in America, with Mexico, the illness’s country of origin, reporting 149 deaths.

("Move over lettuce, peanuts, spinach, peppers, mad cows and slightly irritated cows, SARS and Paris Hilton, Monkey Pox, South American Beetles, and infected birds...there’s a new slippery slope de jure in town being convienenly airlifted to your dinner table.")

Swine flu is a respiratory disease, caused by influenza type A which infects pigs and listeners of Rush Limbaugh. It has hither/to not normally infected humans, but the latest form visibly does, and can be spread from person to person - probably through coughing and sneezing.

("Does that mean I gots to calls my health guy when I sneeze pork grinds")

Spread of this swine influenza A (H1N1) virus is thought to be happening in the same way that seasonal flu spreads. Flu viruses are spread mainly from person to person through coughing or sneezing of people with influenza. Sometimes people may become infected by touching something with flu viruses on it and then touching their mouth or nose. Much like the seasonal version of the flu, the "swine" version is readily manageable by getting an RX for Tamiflu and Relenza from your walking blue pad. Of course the drug must be administered early in order to be effective.

The flu is a mutagenic disease and therefore will always poise a threat prevented, so lets please stop the post 9/11 hysteria and think rationally about what is preventable. For example, government oversight and strict regulation of agri-business. For eight solid years the bush Administration severely weakened and diluted every single environmental and biological safeguard on the books in order to maximize corporate profits. In addition to altering a section of the Endangered Species Act to allow oil drilling and other infrastructure projects to move forward on federal lands without consulting biological habitat experts, allowing the Department of Labor to propose a rule that would weaken how the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) and the Mine Safety and Health Administration (MSHA) calculate on-the-job risk, the Bush Administration gave a bigger gift to biotech industry when they weakened oversight of genetically engineered crops. Hell, it’s a widely known fact that Bin laden devours Arugula lettuce and anyone who doesn’t red meat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner supports terrorism.

And while the welfare of the public and maximization of optimal health is a fundamental touchstone of a robust democracy, it is even greater that Joe Blow practice preventive medicine. You cannot turn on the nightly news without being inudanated with commercials of Americans farting, belching, and bellowing

(But the talking picture box said that we can eat a burger the size of Jupiter only if we take Nexium so bring out the NASA-sized grille!!")

The very nature of those commercials is to superficially conceal the symptoms as your health deteriorates o as to maintain the pharmaceutical industries iron grip on the status quo of healthcare. Hey, it’s not like I don’t indulge in these otherwise deleterious activities on occasion, but I’m just saying that a lot of us do it blindly and think that it’s perfectly okay.