Where the Glass is half full of Shit

Friday, October 8, 2010

RNC forced to remove West Virginia Ad

The NRSC has been forced to pull an ad from the airwaves and Internets featuring a few hicks at a local diner talking about the Senate race in West Virginia. That the people behind the ad shot the ad in a local diner in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania is most shocking. I mean, not being able to find hicks in West Virginia is like not being able to find queer bashers in Texas.



Here’s a breakdown of the casting call:



In brief, it is a sad day in America when today's GOP can't even feign being disingenuous. So very, very tragic indeed.

Wardrobe:


- We are going for a ‘Hicky’ Blue Collar look. These characters are from West Virginia so think coal miner/trucker looks


- Each character should bring a several options and stay away from all black or all white or thin stripes (thicker stripes and plaid are good)


- Clothing Suggestions:


• Jeans


• Work boots


• Flannel shirt


• Denim shirt


• Dickie’s type jacket with t-shirt underneath


• Down filled vest


• John Deer hats (not brand new, preferably beat up)


• Trucker hats (not brand new, preferably beat up)


• No Thin Stripes


Obviously only them fancy east coast elites can afford dem fancy-schmancy thin stripes. Moreover, whenever I see someone don thin stripes I instantly think he has a phd in Proustian studies.  but the criterion (IE, flannel shirt and denim jeans) gives the impression that they are seeking out lesbians, no?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Gallagher hates gays as much as he does writing material

Okay, so perhaps you're quietly ruminating to yourself: "why on earth is Michael writing about Gallagher?" "Is he still even alive and has he ever learned that only Marcel Marceau can dress like Marcel Marceau?"

(The one on the left doesn't talk yet manages to be more tolerable and funny)

Well, upon realizing that this ass hat is still mastering the brilliant comedic nuances of smashing watermelons and making millions doing--while Carlin, Hicks, and Giraldo are sadly dead-- made me take a second look at this taint in a beret.

According to the Seattle-based blog, Gallagher Is a Paranoid, Right-Wing, Watermelon-Smashing Maniac. 

Brace yourselves folks for some hard-hitting, incisive and comedic genius that makes the wry and sardonic satirical stylings of Steven Colbert look like Larry the Cable guy:

You have your hat backward," Gallagher sneers at a twentysomething man in the front row. "Are you a homosexual? Because it seems you have a problem figuring out the front from the back."  
It gets even more scintillating...

Hey, President Obama," he spits out the name like a mouthful of burning hair. "You ain't black. I don't care what you say—you're a latte. You're half whole-milk. It could be goat milk—you could be a terrorist!"
The only logical conclusion behind such sub-moronic bigotry is that in all of those years smashing watermelons, he must have bounced that sledge hammer against his head a couple million times.

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