Where the Glass is half full of Shit

Friday, June 5, 2009

Corzine for Governor kicks off with Vice President Joe Biden

The primary election kick-off commenced with the customary formalities: hordes of supporters and their cheery children, smiling and dancing with unrestrained excitement about their ineligibility to vote; swaths of aging, broad-shouldered union workers donning more pins and buttons than a waitress at Fridays; devoted staffers and selfless volunteers; and all the movers and shakers, while only comprising a scintilla of the audience, could make one phone call and have the entire crowd bulldozed over and tax audited for the remainder of their adult lives.
Oh, but wait…event staff are hurling Corzine t-shirts into the stands. I nearly forgot that American-style electoral politics was akin to halftime at a NY Rangers game Evidently, shooting Joe Biden hair plugs proved too risky.


Enter Joe Biden--

Vice-President Joe Biden removed the swine-flu mask (unfortunately) and immediately began to address the very confined crowd with exuberance and vigor, beginning with the soaring economic crisis (IE, laissez-faire shitstorm)that has been ravaging the lives of New Jerseyians. With the gusto and working-class sensibilities for which the verbose Veep is famous, Joe Biden emphasized the importance of making a new economy and at the same time underscored the disastrous Republican policies that have plagued (poisoned and left for dead) the country for the last eight years. And to the skeptics and undecided needing compelling reasons and affirmative issues to cement their support for re-electing the incumbent governor
Governor Corzine, Joe Biden had the following words…
“Jon Corzine is not just a Governor, he’s
America’s Governor”

I’m guessing that means he drives a Hummer,
eats freedom fries, loves NASCAR and hockey moms all while balancing the budget. The one fucking time where vice-president Joe Biden should’ve been loquacious and overly descriptive, he instead makes a terse, elementary bromide that makes littlen Governor Booby Jindal look like Demosthenes. I kid, of course.
While I would’ve appreciated more decisive and descriptive rhetoric on how the Republican gubernatorial candidate Christopher Christie, whom happens to have one of the stupidest names since Dick Army, is majorly out of step with NJ voters; I.e., a woman's right to choose, gun control, tax issues, etc. However, I suppose it would be too premature considering that the event took place just as the outcome of the Republican primary was being decided.
But as far as political theater goes, Vice-president Joe Biden was most certainly an A-list principal in a big budget production.



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