Where the Glass is half full of Shit

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Caption the Snow whitetrash Queen

Tomorrow is memorial day, a hollow day in which we privileged Americans pay requiem to the generations of brave young men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice by shoving as many deep-fried double-down sandwiches, washing it down with a tub of Mountain Dew Code Red, and reflect digest deeply as we watch the obligatory Law & Order SVU marathon. Obviously, Sarah Palin has made the greatest sacrifices of all, and whoever says otherwise is nothing but an arugula-munching, book reading commie. Sarah should therefore be captioned befittingly.

 So show your deep admiration for one of America's greatest heroes since the White Castle scented candle and name that caption.



Friday, May 28, 2010

Meet Sarah palin's New Neighbor

Shameless, slimy snow grifter Sarah Palin is upset, and this time it isn't at the big meanie liberal media for making her think and her cute forehead wrinkle or because the price of moose burger meat slightly rose. Sarah Palin, whose most famous for dooming a dithering corpse's presidential campaign and giving the most screwed names to her offspring, has recently made news after feigning outrage on her facebook page over her new neighbor– Joe McGinniss, a writer authoring an unflattering book about her.

A respected author and journalist Joe McGinniss, a strident critic of Sarah Palin,(oh well...) has thrown caution and sanity into the wind and taken up residence right next store to Sarah Palin. Not to worry, though, Sarah can still see Russia from her side.
Apparently McGinniss first wrote an expose on Palin and her natural gas pipeline plan for the Conde Nast publication Portfolio  last year. Seeing as Sarah refuses to stop being Sarah (you get the drift...), Joe McGiniss is authoring another book on her tentatively titled, "Sarah Palin's Year of Living Dangerously" and could be on the shelves in the fall of 2011.

"We're sure to have a doozey to look forward to with this treasure he's penning. Wonder what kind of material he'll gather while overlooking Piper's bedroom, my little garden, and the family's swimming hole?" said Palin.

Already Sarah has informed her facebook friends that Mr. McGinniss
will be waxing carrots to her underage daughter and fantazing about Sarah's garden when not watching the entire clan splash around the old swimming hole. Such a horrid beast that Mr McGinniss, but that shouldn't dissuade Sarah from dropping by for a cup of sugar, it's after all the neighborly thing to do...sort of.

www.scallywagandvagabond.com 
chickensoupforthecynicssoul.blogspot.com 

Michael Hayne Presents an Eveing of Political Comedy in NJ

An evening of political comedy for Change (Meeting) BBC hates shrimp, teabaggers, m strip clubs, S and sexual repression, Republicans, unemployment, and Sarah Palin still wont shut down until the f ** k?! Yes, we can use laughter. I urge you to check out some amazing comedians and mock the folly of Washington, and then stick around and mingle and discuss issues with the progressive community


Michael Hayne presents an evening of political comedy
Saturday, June 12th,
8 pm(doors open at 7pm)
Hyenas Comedy Lounge @ the New York Daily Harold,
707 East 46 Street
Parsippany, New Jersey
15$ dollar cover
http://livingliberally.org/laughing/
Facebook page


Harry Terjanian (MTV, NCUCF) hosts Farhan known at the national level Cartoons Comedy Central, SNL, CNN

Addressing Jeff KREISLER (to show the frequency per day in 2008, Bill Hicks Spirit Award, author of "Get Rich Cheating," a bestseller Boston Globe!)

Negin Farsad (Comedy Central, Nerdcore rising)

Charlie KASOV (New Orleans Comedy Festival)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Oval Office Sexy Time: Name that Caption

It really is flabbergasting--treasonous almost--to see a politician in love with his spouse. Well, I figured it might be fun to have you offer a funny caption on what you think is being said/though in this photo

Monday, May 10, 2010

Nick Madson mistakenly thinks he's Patton Oswalt

In a digital age where Grandma uses Firefox to navigate her way onto You Tube, whereupon she uploads a compressed avi formatted snippet of her plethora of cats bouncing yarn that she shot using her Flipvideo, one would naturally think a thirty year old would understand that anything he says in public forum can and will be used against him in a court of Internet. The seemingly unstoppable and immeasurable Juggernaut of the Internet's reach most recently took a relatively washed-up (literally and figuratively) octogenarian actress in Betty White and launched an online campaign lobbying for Mrs. White to host an episode of SNL, which she ultimately did.

So what on BP's oil tainted earth did wannabe comedian Nick Madson think was going to come of his Hilton Hilltop Hackery when he flagrantly plagiarized a well-known routine from established funnyman Patton Oswald?

As a stand-up comedian it's a cardinal rule to not steal any comedian's jokes, just as it's equally inappropriate to be Ashley Simpson and think your a singer when in fact you are just a scantily cladded, meretricious trollop in front of a piece of equipment typically used for actual singing. While it is acceptable to borrow from the greats and reach some of the same conclusions , especially when it comes to topical matter; however, taking it upon yourself to so audaciously pilfer the blood and sweat that goes into the sheer agony of ones unfaltering efforts in turning something out of thin air into a masterpiece deeply embedded in the annuls of comedy.

Does anyone really want to watch Carrot Top perform George Carlin's pristine "Seven Dirty Words" routine?

As if stealing the bit outright wasn't execrable enough, Nick Madson performed Patton Oswalt's amazing routine with such torpor and sheer amateurishness that it sounded like a 6th grader poorly reading the works of Twain, Wilde, and Swift all in one.

We live in a "now" lottery winning reality TV star society that demands instant gratification and immediate results, whilst overlooking the time-tested skills and proven talents that were once a necessary requirement for fame and fortune. Much to the chagrin of totally unfunny and unoriginal Nick Madson,  we also live in a voyeuristic world where the camera is always running and the Internet never goes to sleep.