Thank You for Smoking, Mr. President: In Defense of President Obama's smoking

The country currently finds itself ruminating over consequences detrimental to the health and safety of our way of life: what brand does the president smoke and when did he smoke it? Indeed, Barack Obama's struggle to quit smoking has been amply chronicled over the past couple of years: apparently being president of the United States means that you can wage illegal wars and subsequent occupations, shred the constitution, and destroy the environment, but you MOST certainly CAN'T suck down the coolest method acting prop while simultaneously omitting a decidedly uncool cough that can be heard.

(The President showing off his lighter thumb. Oohh yeah, so cool and smooth!)

This is what scientists and health experts say Obama will look like a year from now

As a smoker, I am all too familiar with the societal disdain and aversion with which my nasty habit brings. Moreover, I'm equally familiar with the great many periods in which I quit, which makes me reminiscent of Mark Twain's quip..."Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times." But let's examine the former a little bit further.

Have you ever been to a Dennys in this country? Surely you have seen with great shock and horror as some of America's finest fat and stupid scoff down a pallate of high-fructose, hydrogenated diabetic offerings in the form of pancakes before they return to the ocean. Surely you've bared witnessed to the fat and stupid in-waiting spawn of Fatty McFatterson screaming incessantly and running helter-skelter all over the shitkicking place, whilst Fatty McFatterson doesn't so much lift its potato head from its troff to reprimand its vile spawn, no? I would say Denny's should enforce leash laws for children, but the fuckers there are so fat that it's really hard to distinguish the children from the retarded man-children. But I digress.

All of the obscene, massively unhealthy and incorrigibly obnoxious aforementioned behavior is socially acceptable and welcomed with warm, fled flinstone-esque arms. But smoking?

Get's on the train! Heil Hitler!

Indeed, if you're a smoker in America you have about as much rights as a rabid badger. As a libertarian, I'm a firm believer in maximizing the liberty of the individual and freeing him from burdensome government intervention. And yes, I realize that my habit does infringe upon another individuals health and increases the liberty of him/her, so I am in complete compliance to reasonable and rational attitudes towards it. But you fucking nazis!

(Your Modern-Day Smoker's Lounge)

It's painfully obvious that politicians love to moralize and expostulate when it suits their political expedience, all while gleefully reaping in those hefty revenues for their pet projects. Moreover, the government is no different then the Mafia when it comes to cigarettes, only they have shitty taste in clothes. So let's stop pretending that they care about our welfare and overall health.

In short, i feel this issue can be wonderfully encapsulated by Mr. Nick Naylor--the fictional fast-talking tobacco lobbyist character from Jason Reitman's (The Juno guy) brilliant satire Thank You for Smoking.